The Twisted
Spirit
Part 1...
Once in a while we all crave vacations, however what they really turn out to be is never what we planned it out to be, just like this one!!!
It had been a marathon of work, I was tired,
exhausted, lonely and low spirited, it was difficult, no one to invite to a
holiday and still there was no reason to hang around ... I took this quiet
lonesome vacation and after loitering around aimlessly I ended up at a Lilly’s
cosy apartment for the last part of my holiday which was fast coming to an end,
little did I know I would meet my long time childhood friend there.
I arrived at
Lilly’s quite exhausted with scattered thoughts and dreams about my life,
nothing specific enough to give me the direction I needed to move forward,
towards my desired destiny!
She looked
strangely familiar but all grown up, she was no longer the child I knew, she
talked about the plight of women, the need to recognise their role in
development and all these big things about changing the world! However what was
evident is that she had become more beautiful, her long hair blended well with
the skin on her body which was just about the size every man dreamed of, she
had smoky, white eyes that gave you a thrill of ecstasy when she smiled at you!
She had turned from a little girl to a beautiful woman and very attractive to
any sane man! My old friend she was all grown up!
I silently fantasized and hoped that she could see my mind for I had no words to express myself in this state of mind, was it possible that such a special friend could fall in love or get attracted to me – I mean attraction, want... I guess you understand – she was more than words could describe, she reminded me of Lute, she reminded me of the times when love was based on mutual interest in each other and absolutely nothing else, that night I went to sleep clouded with thoughts of her, life what it really meant.
In my dreams
I saw her tall, elegant dancing with me, looking deep into my eyes as if asking
many questions, asking who I am, where I came from, where I was going and all – I saw her smile but with a reservation more
the kind that protects women from predators… It was a nice dreamy night.
Waking up to a cool morning my plan was to visit
the nearby town, coincidentally as if planned , she would be going into town
same time as me, we had only one car and so it was only prudent for me to offer
a lift, obliging she sat there very quietly, so calm and peeping from the
corner of her eyes to see this now grown man. I saw that she was okay with the
driving, but something seemed to bother her it seemed the space between us was
quite small, may be she felt my personal space interfere with hers... may be
the force of my attraction was infecting her ... may be she dreamed of me differently
too, a masculine, all grown up man with an erotic voice, chest, hard muscles,
strong jaws, immense knowledge, power and all ...
I just didn’t know what was in that mind of hers
– I got more tormented!
Suddenly she said something, she made me talk
and feel easy and I thought more about how more difficult it was becoming to
tell her that I saw her in a different light now ... Her voice quite high
pitched but with husky and deep specs, I was getting excited even more and this
time she spoke from with in my space like speaking right into me...
We had arrived to her destination, as I dropped
her off I watched her from the back side, the hair falling to her shoulders,
her slim neck and down her spine to the slim waist and all down to the legs it
was killing my hormones, they crushed against each other and coupled with the
adrenaline I decided to drive away very fast like none of that meant a thing to
me... God it just kept replaying in my head all day, I could not work, no
focus, no other thoughts could make sense – I thought of her all day...
That night, a starry, nice spotted sky, with a
full moon in the distance, we talked, she teased me as if to say I was not man
enough, as if to say I feared a beautiful thing when presented with it!
I tried it with the patience thing, tried to use
the best words I could master but they never came, so I started on the action
thing unbuttoning the Zebra print top she had on and she just smiled on, I
touched, hugged and God my pants were bursting, I prayed – God save me let me
not lose it before time I thought ...
Little did she know, I was aroused all day, day
dreaming and fantasizing, I wanted to hold on, take my time to please her
slowly, take her to the veranda and show her the stars and their different classifications,
their distance from earth, I wanted to kiss her every where, get pink sprinkles
of ice-cream and kissing each and every part of her to life, share a dry red
Chilean wine while telling her about the farms on which the vines are grown!
I did the opposite letting my own forces control
me, she became cold, she seemed in pain, I had spoilt it all in a second!
I lay there wondering to God if this would ever
be redeemed, then the tear drop from her eyes made me think, it was all gone
the fantasies I had made for the future due to poor actions, or did she even
know me? Did she even want me at all? May be she was only being friendly? God
oh my ... I thought...
I got up and walked away, walking and walking in
the night, a cigarette, a beer no… no… not even those could save the day! May
be it was just a dream I told my self, may be she just is not there I thought
and walked and walked!!!
But wait a minute it was her who opened up, she
teased me, she made me feel welcome so what went wrong, was I too fast, was I
disrespectful, was I too arrogant ....
To be continued...
Part 2
The holiday was fast coming to an end it was
still mysterious what had become of our friendship, I decided – let it play out
its self. Last night I had seen her light on and went to say good night, she
was visibly happy to see me, we had a quick chat and I let her go to sleep...
.... I was staring at the ceiling it was going
to be a hot day, I didn’t want to move, slowly crowling out of bed I started to
pick up the clothes I had thrown on the carpet as I went to sleep the previous
night, I stretched and looked into the wardrope for what I could wear everything
looked so cramped, I had unpacked and hanged the clothes with out stretching
them.
Turning to the door I saw her, gosh!!! ... where
did she pass standing there with a light smile, her hair free and all over she
looked even more beautiful - she asked if she could help with the ironing to
which I quickly agreed, walking away she told me breakfast was ready! Wow I
mussed!
How do I tell her what I thought, how can I
express my self with out being misunderstood to seem like an over zealous man
in love heaping abnormal praises on a simple creation of God!
I was lost and just kept silent, I had a long
cold shower and walked slowly to the terrace for breakfast, I found her
standing there and offered her a sit, touched her shoulders as if to say it is
all well and she should not worry about a thing, she was calm and welcoming ...
she offered a cup of steaming lemon grass tea ...
We talked about the weather, the malls, the
places to visit and were soon done with breakfast - we were off to town for the
last day of the holiday!
She walked on to the porch elegantly looking
like the richest corporate woman, but also the wife of a leading business &
social entrepreneur of the times, wearing a short collar bright pink shirt with
the last two top buttons open – exposing a little of cleavage, a dark
choclate brown jacket and matching fairly short skirt – complete with medium
high shoes and a small hand pass ...
She noticed that she had heard the effect and
smiled drawing my attention to the very light make up on her lips almost
unnoticeable ... Then our eyes met as I urshered her into the car seat besides
mine.
Starting the car engine and letting it idle a
bit as I set the tunes of the Soweto String Quartet, it was the album “Four”, I
leaned over strapping her seat belt we touched, it was warm, she smelled fresh
and rosy with the scent of "very irresistable for women".
The sound of her voice, the now well arranged
hair, the thin fingers touching on her fairly exposed legs, she looked very
sexy, we drove on in to the small rural town ... she told me about the old
days, about the tree at the neighbours and the scary dog at the police man’s
home, she sounded like the young excited baby girl I knew in our childhood, she
looked woman but also very girly with a sense of extreme innocence we were
happy, we owned the world, we owned the roads we owned everything ...
I thought, this is it, I thought, she cannot not
be mine, I thought, I will die with out her and thoughts, thoughts ... it was
time to part ways, I had to let go, I didn’t want the moment to end, I kissed
her very lightly & she returned a very light one too almost like the feel
of air but extremely magnetic ...
I drove down the road, walked from mall to mall
and finally settled for a trip to some great historical sites, with my camera,
changing the music this time to dance hall oldies I sped off to the sites. I
took some of the most memorable pictures, watched nature unfold, having lunch
along the way, then went on to frame a special photograph showing lush
vegetation, birds, antelopes, kobs and water in the far end ...
I bought some shorts and t-shirts for both of us
and drove back in time to meet her at the beach front. Finding a place we
changed & run down to the sand ... "today" I told my self I will
take all the time on earth ...
We ate exotic dishes, talked and laughed, with
our bear feet, we walked the long line of the beach to the far end & sat on
the rock hands locked to each others waists ... I sang her some old song I
remembered ... “Look into my eyes - you will see What you mean to me, Search
your heart - search your soul And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for ......”
We counted the stars, followed the galaxy to the
furthest point visible ...
Driving back to the last night was silent ...
she seemed taken up in deep thought, I too thought about everything and nothing
in particular ...
To be continued ...
Part 3…
We had
arrived quietly last night, sat silently on the verandah looking far in the
distance we had crossed the line, and today we would be going back to our daily
routine lives, we had expressed the deepest emotions and yet were supposed to
take different flights to different cities to carry on with our careers, dreams
and building the world!
She had
placed her head on my laps falling asleep effortlessly, I had carried her to
the bed and slept besides her all night holding her in my hands with her head
on my chest she seemed so much at home with me. Waking up earlier I went into
the kitchen and started making breakfast, first I made passion fruit juice,
then cut some pineapples and pawpaws to serve a long and set up the table at
the terrace with the fruits.
Then back in
the kitchen I made some ham, sausages, Spanish omelet and local bread
together with coffee and porridge it was going to be a nice one and a big one
at that... I then set up the table with fresh flowers from the garden and
breakfast was ready.
… and walking
on to the terrace, she was blushing and smiling shyly like a baby, I saw the
flush of the young girl she was once on her face, I felt a feeling, a feeling
so hard to describe, a feeling of pride, of tender, passionate and pro-founding
desire to be close to each other - the terrace had an allure and aura of a heavenly nature!
She had to be
the one God sent to me I thought… as the aroma from the breakfast caught her
taste buds and suddenly she could not contain the excitement, she exclaimed and
was filled with tears of joy as we embraced for a short while, saying nothing
at all … and finally we sat at the table and cracked jokes all through the
breakfast, we were there for hours and soon it was late morning and we had not
moved or done anything …
It was
getting late, reluctantly we withdrew to our rooms to pack and leave, it was
back to work as usual. Finally the moment had come I had moved all my bags to
the front porch and my taxi was already there to drop me off to the airport.
She was there
almost white from a saddened face we hugged and quickly saying bye avoiding to
face each other with the intense emotions building up inside, I turned to the
cab but looking back from the back seat I saw tears in her face she managed a
smile though and waved a flying good bye kiss to me which I returned …
The flight
back home was quite uneventful, reaching the Ugandan airspace in the night was
even dampening my mood a truly struggling country, I saw scattered lights and
some concentrations in the cities of Entebbe and Kampala. The drive into Kampala
reminded me of our reality, dark, winding, narrow and with uneven edges we
slowly snaked into the city. My mind could not get a way from the holiday, we
called each other every three times a day …
To be
continued …
