Men Are Practical Creatures
by Dennis Asiimwe on Thursday, January 24, 2013 at 2:06pm ·
Disclaimer:
I rarely reverse-write. Reverse-writing is the practice of posting
something online that you have already had published in the media. (And
in case you are wondering, I just dug that phrase out of my ass; it
doesn't exist).
I like online audiences because the feedback process is more effective and this was a topic I really wanted folks' thoughts on. I thought I approached the topic in unusually measured tones, but that will be for you to decide. I tried to be analytical (ha!), and even studious. For the most part though, I wrote it the way I write best: without pausing to think.
Over the years, I have come to blame feminism for many things. Of course some of the things I blame feminism for I do unfairly (like the price of oil because of increasing demand for petroleum because more women were driving because of equal rights because of feminism). On other occasions you could say I was being politically incorrect (we eat less healthily because women are not staying home to cook).
I admit that sometimes those particular arguments don’t sound very compelling to me, especially at 3am in the morning when you tend to see the world a starkly, without its makeup on. But one argument that I can never back down from, one thing that feminism should take the blame for is arguing absurdly that men and women are one and the same thing.
Equal rights, yeah, I can swallow that (with some cajoling and a healthy dose of whiskey), but the same? Why? What makes you think that? Do you know the difference a WHOLE chromosome makes?
I am getting carried away.
I was listening to a lady (I use the term rather generously) whine about “how that man, he thinks because he took me for dinner five times, that I should go home with him, shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”) while trying to get through a pile of paperwork on my desk.
It was hard. Really hard, like working in a sand storm, except the grains of sand in this case were the nonsensical expectations floating around in the air, expectations that were dumped on the current female generation by a bunch of idealist females that have since moved on to happy grand motherhood.
I often argue that women deliberately ignore what men are; what they prefer to do is yak on about what they want men to be. If you ever hear a woman describe what she calls ‘a real man’, she will sound like she is describing someone you cannot even begin to imagine exists, apart from in a Meg Ryan movie (and those, thank God, went out of style ages ago).
So I wanted to speak to the whining female as she regaled her colleague about the ‘shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ man but the paperwork on my desk actually looked more interesting. However, if I had spoken to her, this is what I would have said:
“Men are practical creatures.”
It’s hard to tell how much this is a combination of their DNA and their environment, but men are essentially programmed to rationalize situations. To give you a quaint and somewhat simplified example, I quote the case of a popular female response to a query: “Just.”
This query is often used to explain behavior that a girl/woman/female cannot rationally justify.
“Why did you do that?”
“Just.”
Only women use the word ‘just’ and think it’s an answer. If a man tried that, he would be taken away by a small group of discreet powerfully built men in white coats and tucked away in a building with high walls for his own (and the world’s) safety.
So when a man buys you lunch/dinner/a phone/a car, he is not doing it because of ‘just’. Oh hell no. Why would he?
He wants something in return. He probably he wants you as an ally in a business deal; maybe he wants a business lead that you can give some insights on; maybe he thinks he can learn something from you over a glass of wine; maybe he even thinks you are walking around with the key to renewable energy and can help solve the world fuel crisis, as unlikely as it might seem.
Then of course, maybe he just wants to sleep with you (about 90% of the time).
However, it is criminally foolish for you to assume he is doing it ‘just for just’. Why should he? What makes you think that spending time with you is a compelling way of passing the day? In case you were wondering, it’s oftennot the case.
Look at the friendships men have at work, at bars, in their neighborhoods. Behind the jovial bonhomie, the high-fives and the knowing stares as a girl in killer heels struts by, is a deliberate plan to get themselves into the best possible position in this dog-eat-dog world. They form allies, friendships and things like that so that they strengthen themselves, and their own. There is a practical pattern to male behavior.
So when a man asks you to dinner, he is not doing it for your compelling company (as interesting as you might seem to yourself and Vampire Diary-watching girlfriends); he is doing it because he is interested in something from you, something you have, something you can offer him. The problem is, 90% of the time, that thing is sex.
You could even go as far as blaming women for this (after all, if they had more to offer the man in question, he wouldn’t be taking her out to dinner just to get her into bed) but that might be going a bit too far, even for me (or maybe not…hehe).
Either way, it is naïve to think he is doing it ‘just’ and it is naïve to get angry, or to go ‘shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ like a housemaid form a Ugandan TV series.
Men are practical creatures. It’s time women learnt to accept this.
I like online audiences because the feedback process is more effective and this was a topic I really wanted folks' thoughts on. I thought I approached the topic in unusually measured tones, but that will be for you to decide. I tried to be analytical (ha!), and even studious. For the most part though, I wrote it the way I write best: without pausing to think.
Over the years, I have come to blame feminism for many things. Of course some of the things I blame feminism for I do unfairly (like the price of oil because of increasing demand for petroleum because more women were driving because of equal rights because of feminism). On other occasions you could say I was being politically incorrect (we eat less healthily because women are not staying home to cook).
I admit that sometimes those particular arguments don’t sound very compelling to me, especially at 3am in the morning when you tend to see the world a starkly, without its makeup on. But one argument that I can never back down from, one thing that feminism should take the blame for is arguing absurdly that men and women are one and the same thing.
Equal rights, yeah, I can swallow that (with some cajoling and a healthy dose of whiskey), but the same? Why? What makes you think that? Do you know the difference a WHOLE chromosome makes?
I am getting carried away.
I was listening to a lady (I use the term rather generously) whine about “how that man, he thinks because he took me for dinner five times, that I should go home with him, shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”) while trying to get through a pile of paperwork on my desk.
It was hard. Really hard, like working in a sand storm, except the grains of sand in this case were the nonsensical expectations floating around in the air, expectations that were dumped on the current female generation by a bunch of idealist females that have since moved on to happy grand motherhood.
I often argue that women deliberately ignore what men are; what they prefer to do is yak on about what they want men to be. If you ever hear a woman describe what she calls ‘a real man’, she will sound like she is describing someone you cannot even begin to imagine exists, apart from in a Meg Ryan movie (and those, thank God, went out of style ages ago).
So I wanted to speak to the whining female as she regaled her colleague about the ‘shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ man but the paperwork on my desk actually looked more interesting. However, if I had spoken to her, this is what I would have said:
“Men are practical creatures.”
It’s hard to tell how much this is a combination of their DNA and their environment, but men are essentially programmed to rationalize situations. To give you a quaint and somewhat simplified example, I quote the case of a popular female response to a query: “Just.”
This query is often used to explain behavior that a girl/woman/female cannot rationally justify.
“Why did you do that?”
“Just.”
Only women use the word ‘just’ and think it’s an answer. If a man tried that, he would be taken away by a small group of discreet powerfully built men in white coats and tucked away in a building with high walls for his own (and the world’s) safety.
So when a man buys you lunch/dinner/a phone/a car, he is not doing it because of ‘just’. Oh hell no. Why would he?
He wants something in return. He probably he wants you as an ally in a business deal; maybe he wants a business lead that you can give some insights on; maybe he thinks he can learn something from you over a glass of wine; maybe he even thinks you are walking around with the key to renewable energy and can help solve the world fuel crisis, as unlikely as it might seem.
Then of course, maybe he just wants to sleep with you (about 90% of the time).
However, it is criminally foolish for you to assume he is doing it ‘just for just’. Why should he? What makes you think that spending time with you is a compelling way of passing the day? In case you were wondering, it’s oftennot the case.
Look at the friendships men have at work, at bars, in their neighborhoods. Behind the jovial bonhomie, the high-fives and the knowing stares as a girl in killer heels struts by, is a deliberate plan to get themselves into the best possible position in this dog-eat-dog world. They form allies, friendships and things like that so that they strengthen themselves, and their own. There is a practical pattern to male behavior.
So when a man asks you to dinner, he is not doing it for your compelling company (as interesting as you might seem to yourself and Vampire Diary-watching girlfriends); he is doing it because he is interested in something from you, something you have, something you can offer him. The problem is, 90% of the time, that thing is sex.
You could even go as far as blaming women for this (after all, if they had more to offer the man in question, he wouldn’t be taking her out to dinner just to get her into bed) but that might be going a bit too far, even for me (or maybe not…hehe).
Either way, it is naïve to think he is doing it ‘just’ and it is naïve to get angry, or to go ‘shyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa’ like a housemaid form a Ugandan TV series.
Men are practical creatures. It’s time women learnt to accept this.
